


Ya' Never Know

by masterroadtripper



Series: Life At Lightning Flats [1]
Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29494497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterroadtripper/pseuds/masterroadtripper
Summary: A year after their summer up on Brokeback, John Twist passes away and Jack realizes that love isn't something you often find in the desolate ranchlands of Wyoming.  Buying a phone book from the general store, he manages to track down Ennis and see if they can live a sweet life together after all.[Set in the summer of 1964]
Relationships: Ennis Del Mar/Jack Twist
Series: Life At Lightning Flats [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939537
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**June 1964**

Jack yanked his tie free from where it felt like it was choking him before rolling it up and stuffing it into the pocket of his only pair of dress pants. Looking down at his feet, Jack vaguely heard someone from over his shoulder give another set of condolences. Grunting like Ennis would back up on Brokeback, Jack scratched at his neck from where the tie had been gathering sweat in the heat of the Lightning Flats summer sun and wondered, not for the first time, what the blond-haired man was doing right that second.

That had been happening a lot recently, though, it had really never stopped unless he was yelling at his father. Jack missed Ennis, plain and simple. It had been a year since he’d met Ennis up on Brokeback and he’d thought that he could move on, but then he’d left his parents again to go ask Mr. Aguirre for another job, had been turned away, and returned home to learn that his father had passed.

Looking towards the disturbed ground of his father’s grave, Jack felt sick. John Twist had been a horrible man, there was no doubt about that, but as he kicked at some of the grass, trying to ignore the other sets of condolences that were sent his way, Jack wondered if it had been his fault that his father had suffered from a heart attack at only fifty-one years old. Had he not tried to go back to Brokeback to find Ennis again, his father wouldn’t have had to do the chores that Jack had been covering for the past year and then he wouldn’t have collapsed in their barn, shovelling out the horse stalls.

“Ready to head home?” his mother’s hoarse voice asked, her hands grabbing onto his bicep and leaning against him.

Her black veil made her look even older and Jack wished he could come up with something to say that would make his mom smile again. When he was a kid, he’d do anything to make her smile or even laugh because she never seemed to do it enough. Jack couldn’t remember a time that his mother was ever really happy if he wasn’t doing something ridiculous in the background.

“‘Kay,” Jack said, taking one last glance at the disturbed ground before turning and walking towards his old navy blue truck that they’d driven out. Even though his mother said that his father’s truck belonged to the ranch, and therefore, it now belonged to Jack, it felt weird to even consider driving it yet. There were a lot of “firsts” that had been happening in the weeks since his father had passed, but that was one that he just didn’t think he was ready for yet.

“Doin’ okay honey?” his mother asked as they walked down the hill that the Lightning Flats Pentecost Church graveyard was built into the side of.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone to church on Sunday with his folks. It had to have been at least since he turned eighteen when he’d yelled at both of his parents, claiming that he was now a man and he could choose what he would do with his life - starting with no longer attending church.

“M’doin’ fine ma’,” Jack lied.

He felt guilty about what had happened to his father, and he missed Ennis even worse. Heading back out to Signal had really hammered home the concept that he might never see the other man again. He’d always just assumed that since he’d suggested that he’d be back the next summer, Ennis would be there too.

Like most of his dreams, it never did come to pass, and now it felt like there was a massive hole in his heart. It was impossible, of course, but it felt even worse than every single time that his father screamed in his face or threw him into the walls combined. Until now, Jack hadn’t realized that there was an even worse feeling than knowing that he’d never be able to earn his father’s love or respect.

“I know ya’ aint never got along real well with your daddy,” his mother started once they were out of the crowds of people. Not that there were really that many, truth be told, and Jack figured that most of them were there not to mourn John Twist - who never had a nice thing to say about another human in his life - but to support his mother. Jack appreciated that, because he didn’t know what to do or say that would be able to make her feel any better about losing her husband.

Still though, Jack opened his mouth to argue with her. Point out that the bastard used to hit him with the glowing red iron poker from the fire or would purposely leave him out on the range to try to find his own way home. That almost every single scar on his body that wasn’t from the rodeo was from his own father.

“Jackie, I gotta say this,” she said, patting his arm a couple of times before continuing, “I loved your daddy. I aint know what ‘appened ta’ you down in Signal, but ya’ left real happy and came back all sad. And I know, it aint jus’ ‘cause of wha’ happened ta’ your daddy.”

“Ma…,” Jack said, nervous at where their conversation was going.

It wasn’t the same kind of stone-cold fear that he’d felt as he faced up to Mr. Aguirre, or the wrenching pain that he’d felt leaving Ennis behind in Signal, but it was probably a combination of both. Sure the Twist Ranch was now his, but if something happened to his mother or their relationship, Jack didn’t know how he would be able to stand it.

“Jackie, I want ya’ to listen ta’ me,” his mother continued, “Ya’ went down ta’ Signal for somethin’, didn’t ya’? Your daddy aint here with us no more. Ya’ want somethin Jackie, you gotta go get it. Ya’ never know when things are gonna end.”


	2. Chapter 2

**July 1964**

Pulling off the highway onto the Main Street of Riverton, Jack parked behind a delivery truck and reached over to the passenger seat to grab the phone book that he’d bought from McAsey’s Hardware. Flipping to the page he’d dog-eared, Jack started digging through the pockets of his pants for the change he’d stashed in there the night before.

He was exhausted from driving through the night, and his back and ribs ached horribly, all the nasty fall that he’d taken during the rodeo seasons seemingly catching up all at once. Even though he was only twenty, Jack wondered how bad he’d end up feeling when he was older after a lifetime of hard work. Though, as he eyed a phone booth on the corner, just outside of what looked like a post office, Jack felt it all dissipate. Ennis was here somewhere, Jack knew it, and he finally had a lead that might just work out.

Getting out of his truck and walking towards the phone booth, Jack wondered why he was even dragging the massive phonebook with him anymore. Ever since he’d found an Alma Beers listed for Riverton - the only person with the name of Alma in the small farming town - he’d found himself looking at the page whenever he could. He was sure his mother knew something was up, but she thankfully didn’t say anything about it, instead choosing to pat his hand gently and give him a slightly sad smile as he headed out towards his truck the night before.

Putting his change into the phone, the number picked up on the second ring. It was a woman’s voice who said, “hello, Beers household”

“Hi,” Jack said, “I’m lookin’ for Ennis? Ennis del Mar? He live here?”

“He left,” the woman’s voice said, wavering dangerously.

Jack wondered if he was speaking to Alma herself. The thought alone made his blood boil, but with the hopes of finding Ennis again, he pushed aside his own anger and kept going.

“He left?” Jack asked, the words finally sinking in.

“A day before the wedding,” the girl said, definitely crying again, “He left me!”

“Do ya’ know where I can find ‘im?” Jack asked, feeling slightly bad that he’d made the young lady so upset, but blinded by the prospect of not only finding Ennis, but finding him single and unmarried, was making his thoughts run.

“Last I heard he moved out to the old trailer park on the edge of town,” Alma said and the line suddenly went dead. She’d hung up, but that really didn’t matter to Jack because he had all the information he needed. He had to refrain from sprinting back to his truck, but it was tempting.

Coaxing his truck back to life, Jack shifted it into gear before turning back onto the highway. He was pretty sure he’d driven past a trailer park on his way into town, and while he couldn’t be sure there wasn’t another, Riverton was a pretty small town and he figured it was a decent enough place to start.

Trying not to jitter his leg against where it was resting against the curve of the wheel well with barely contained excitement, Jack whistled along with the radio and kept an eye on his speed. The last thing he wanted was to get pulled over for going too fast.

Drumming his hands against his steering wheel, Jack saw the first couple of white-coloured, plastic-sided trailers on a plot of farmland that looked like it hadn’t been planted in years. As he turned on his blinker, Jack wondered if he was going to throw up the second he climbed out of his truck. It’d happened a couple of times before a bull ride when he’d gotten himself so excited and worked up that all of the excess energy ended up making his stomach sick.

Turning off the highway onto a dirt road Jack saw a slightly larger building that looked like a renting office and parked outside it. Heading in, there was an elderly woman sitting at the desk, reading a newspaper, and didn’t even look up when Jack entered.

“‘Scuse me m’am?” Jack asked, his voice loud in the silence of the office and vaguely reminiscent of a very similar scene in Mr. Aguirre’s office not even a month ago.

“Can I help you boy?” she replied.

“Was wonderin’ if Ennis del Mar lives here?” he asked.

“Lot 23,” she said, looking back towards her paper.

Jack sprinted out of the trailer, jumping down the four steps onto the ground with a massive whoop of uncontainable, unbridled joy. He was so close and yet, he didn’t even know if Ennis would be at his trailer, but that didn’t matter one little bit. It had been a year, he could wait another couple of hours.

The trailer looked like Ennis. Jack had no idea how to explain it other than that. There was no vehicle around, and none of the lights were on, but he just knew that it was Ennis’s. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, Jack folded down the tailgate of his truck and climbed into the back. Resting against the back window with the soft remainders of hay in the back, Jack tried to calm his jitters as he trained his eyes on the drive to the trailer park.


	3. Chapter 3

**July 1964**

He wasn’t entirely sure how long it had been, but as an ancient black pickup signalled off the highway and turned down the drive to the trailer park, Jack knew right away it was him. The truck was still probably a mile off and he could barely see the driver, but he just knew. When he’d met Ennis back up on Brokeback, the other man had barely had a set of clothes to his name. The trailer and truck, while not exactly in pristine condition by any means was a whole hell of a lot more than he’d had last year.

Jack wondered how it’d been for Ennis all this time. Jumping from rodeo to rodeo, trying to spend as little time as possible at his Daddy’s ranch, Jack had barely made enough to make a living and keep his truck running. There was no extra money to spare or borrow from his father, and so whatever he made at the rodeo went straight back into his truck so that it could drive him to the next one. But here was Ennis, making enough doing whatever he was doing to afford a truck - though it was hardly new - and a trailer to call home. For a brief second, Jack felt jealous of Ennis and that the man had no one else to put up with but himself.

Climbing out of the back and slamming the trailer latch back into place, Jack leaned against his truck, arms crossed over the front of the shirt he’d chosen to wear that evening before he’d left for Riverton and making the fabric stick to his stomach against the sheen of sweat that had gathered. It was made out of denim, his shirt, and it was actually a replacement that his mother had bought for him on his twentieth birthday after he’d claimed he’d lost his other one up on Brokeback. Jack didn’t know how to tell her that he’d instead just stashed it in the back of his closet, Ennis’s tucked inside, and that he refused to wash it. His mother wouldn’t understand, so he’d told a small white lie instead.

As Ennis’s truck got closer and closer, Jack found himself quite literally vibrating with pent-up energy and excitement. He could see the man’s features through the windscreen with a light blue shirt hugging his neckline. A beige cowboy hat rested on the dash, and Jack wondered if it was the same one that he’d worn out on Brokeback - the one his father had used to wear that K.E. gave him after the funeral. Knowing Ennis, Jack bet it was the same one.

Ennis’s truck pulled around the side of the trailer and Jack could barely contain himself. Pushing away from the side of his own truck, Jack followed the dust towards the pad that Ennis parked on. The second Ennis climbed out of the cab, Jack was rushing towards him.

He wrapped the startled blond up into his embrace, the side of the trailer shielding them from the view of anyone, and squeezing him into his arms as tight as he could. Jack felt like his heart was going to explode, right then and there. Pressing his cheek into Ennis’s, he felt the short stubble against his skin and the tight curls of blond hair against his ear. The startled blond took a couple of heaving breaths that fluttered down the back of Jack’s shirt and he hoped that Ennis wouldn’t push him away. He didn’t know if he’d be able to stand it if Ennis shoved him back now.

It took a couple of seconds, but finally, Ennis returned the motion, his arms wrapping around Jack’s shoulders and it just felt right. He didn’t know how he’d managed to make it the entire year without the other man at his side, and ever since Mr. Aguirre rejected him, the pain he felt was finally starting to lessen. Ennis was here, safe and sound. A pool of heat started spreading from the center of his chest outwards, turning all his limbs into live wires and he squeezed Ennis to his chest as tight as possible.

“Jack fuckin’ Twist,” Ennis muttered into the side of Jack’s head, and Jack just knew that he’d finally done something right for once in his life. The blond turned just a little, lips nipping at the side of Jack’s neck and he knew that Ennis wanted to say something else but couldn’t find the words.

Jack could barely find any of his own as he grunted out, “son of a bitch,” before slowly starting to rock Ennis back and forth, their grip on each other tightening.

He whispered Ennis’s name and carded his fingers through the curls that were sticking to the back of Ennis’s neck. The man smelled like sweat and cattle, but underneath, something that reminded him of Brokeback. It was the same smell that still remained on their shirts long after they’d last seen the light of day.

Ennis pulled away slightly, looking around left and right a couple of times before he practically took Jack’s breath away by grabbing the denim material of Jack’s jean shirt and hauling him backwards. Knocking his hat off, the black material falling to the ground, Ennis kept going until Jack’s back connected with the white siding of the trailer. The second that they stopped moving, Ennis pressed his lips into Jack’s, his hands grasping onto the sides of Jack’s face like he was scared he would disappear if he didn’t hold onto something.

At first, Jack scrambled a little, phased by the fact that a man who had once been so scared, shy and unwilling to show any affection in the middle of nowhere was kissing him here in broad daylight. Then, Jack got his wits about him and used one hand to cradle the back of Ennis’s head closer to him and press the other to the side of Ennis’s face in a mirror image of what the other man was doing. He felt a couple of tears slip down his cheek, a bubble rising up in his chest that he had no idea how to explain. He felt whole again.

Ennis pulled away from him a little and Jack looked into his chocolate brown eyes as they breathed the same air for just a couple of seconds. He could see in Ennis’s eyes that the man was confused and couldn’t believe what he was seeing as if he was dreaming. Yet, Jack knew that if Ennis thought he was dreaming, he was unwilling to let it stop yet. Just like the sweetest of Jack’s own dreams back home that felt more real than not, he would cling to sleep as long as he could just to hear Ennis’s voice for a couple more seconds. He wondered if Ennis thought this was a dream.

There was nothing more Jack wanted than to keep kissing Ennis for a little longer, so he pushed back against the other man. If he thought this was a dream, Jack wanted to make it the best dream that Ennis had had in a while. Ennis pushed him back against the siding of the trailer and pressed their lips together again. His nose was a little sore from the force that they pressed together, but when Ennis crowded into his space, pressing his chest and then hips flush against Jack and the trailer, how his nose felt didn’t really matter.

Eventually, Ennis pulled Jack’s hand free from where it’d fisted into the white and blue material, and pushed Jack back a little, his confidence waning. Jack could see in the lust-clouded brown eyes that the man was getting scared. He was worried that someone would see, even if no one could around the side of the trailer. Wanting the contact to last a little longer, Jack brushed his nose against Ennis’s.

The blond man turned his head, looking over his shoulder towards the drive that his truck had come from but, as Jack could see, there was no one there and Ennis turned back towards Jack, letting himself be comforted slightly as Jack tried to kiss him again, drawing his hands back to Ennis’s face.

Ennis pushed Jack’s hands away, but rubbed his nose back against Jack’s gently, whispering, “hey,” as he took a step back to start buttoning up his shirt, the snaps having gotten pulled loose.

Jack watched as his work-worn fingers that knew Jack’s body better than he did himself buttoned the shirt back all the way up to the second last button before he tucked his shirt back into his jeans. His shirt and tails were probably in no better state of repair than Ennis’s was, but that didn’t matter to him. He had Ennis back, that was all that mattered.

“Wan’ a drink rodeo?” Ennis asked with a slight smirk, turning to head around to the door of the trailer, not checking to see if Jack was following or not.


	4. Chapter 4

**July 1964**

“Come with back wif’ me ta’ Lightnin’ Flats,” Jack said that night. With Ennis’s head resting on his chest, the two of them sharing a cigarette between them, Jack felt more confident than he had the last time he’d gotten onto the back of a bull only to be thrown off after four seconds.

The small bed in the trailer was not large enough for two twenty-year-old men to share, but with Ennis leaning almost entirely over onto Jack, the one pillow tucked under Jack’s back, neither of them was about to complain. They both smelled like cattle and sweat, their skin sticking together in the heat of the night, but as Jack pressed kiss after sweet kiss to Ennis’s curly blond hair, all he could see was the roof of a tent above their heads and hear the stamping of impatient horse hooves outside in the wind.

Of course, that couldn’t be hardly further from the truth, but as the summer wind buffeted the trailer, Jack could close his eyes and pretend that they still had the entire summer out in the mountains together. He could pretend that they were still nineteen years old with no cares in the world, up in a little paradise that they could call their own when in reality, they’d have to wake up tomorrow morning and be subjected to their real lives.

As much as Jack might want to say in this trailer with Ennis forever, he knew the man would have to go to work the next day and he might never come back. Ennis liked to run from his emotions, and for all Jack knew he’d never see him again. But he could try.

He could try to convince Ennis that there was something out there for them in Lightning Flats. The Twist Ranch was so far away from any town that they could do just about anything and no one but Jack’s mom would be the wiser. If they were careful, not even she would know, even though Jack was sure the ship had sailed on that years ago.

“Wha’?” Ennis grunted, shifting in the bed just a little.

“You know, it could be like this,” Jack started again.

Ennis grunted and Jack watched his face curve down into a frown. He looked like he wanted to run, but Jack tightened the arm he had around Ennis’s shoulders just a little, reminding his scared cowboy that he wasn’t going anywhere and nothing was going to happen. Everything would be alright.

“Jus’ like this, always,” Jack continued, gently rubbing a thumb into the flesh of the muscle that it was resting against. He knew he had to tread lightly because one wrong step and he could ruin everything, but now that his father was gone and the ranch was his, Jack figured that this might be his last and only chance.

“Yeah?” Ennis asked, taking a drag of the cigarette, “how ya’ figure that?”

Jack took a deep breath and trained his eyes on the wall across the room. He didn’t think he could look at Ennis right then without feeling like he wanted to cry or throw up. There were so many ways this could go wrong, he didn’t want to see the hard look in Ennis’s eyes when everything he had heard in his childhood grabbed hold of his mind and he inevitably shoved Jack away.

“Wha’ if,” Jack started, “you an’ me had a little ranch somewhere? Little cow and calf operation? Could be a sweet life.”

Ennis stilled, but tilted his head up a little and looked over at Jack. He forced himself to hold Ennis’s gaze, something he would be rewarded with so rarely, and continued, “hell, now tha’ my daddy’s six feet under, the ranch needs someone who knows what they’re doin’ ta’ run it. Gonna have ta’ hire a foreman.”

“Now tha’,” Ennis said, shifting to sit, his back to Jack, but still seated on the bed. His hips and back still rested against Jack, but he curled in on himself, feet planted on the floor and head resting in his hands, “I told you, it ain’t gonna be tha’ way. Hell, you got your ranch an’ ma’ up in Lightnin’ Flats, an’, you know, I got my job here in Riverton.”

Jack frowned, saying, “that so? Workin’ for a dollar ‘n hour, tha’s a life?”

“Shut up ‘bout tha’, aint my fault,” Ennis said, sounding mad, “Bottom line is, we’re ‘round each other, ‘nd this thing grabs hold of us ‘gain. In the wrong place, at the wrong time, we’re dead.”

Jack reached out and coaxed Ennis back towards him, the man shaking so hard that Jack thought that he’d loosen all the screws holding the bed in the trailer together and they’d be landing on the floor soon enough.

Dragging his fingers through Ennis’s curls, Jack whispered, “it’s alright, it's alright,” and started to feel the fight draining from his tense muscles as he let himself be comforted again.

Just as Jack was about to say something else, Ennis started talking again. For almost a minute straight, Ennis told Jack about the two guys he’d known as a kid who his daddy had killed and suddenly, everything that had happened, everything that night, and up on Brokeback, made more sense.

The fear that was carved into Ennis’s mind. It wasn’t just that he thought what they were doing was wrong, or bad, or disgusting. There was a whole other layer to it. Ennis was terrified that something was going to happen to the two of them. Someone like his father would find out and they’d end up dead in an irrigation ditch for what they shared.

“If ya’ can’t fix it Jack, you gotta stand it,” Ennis finished and while Jack was taken aback by what he’d heard, he didn’t like the sound of that. He didn’t think he’d be able to manage to go another year without seeing Ennis, now that he knew where he was. Nothing would be able to keep him tied to Lightning Flats, even though he knew his mother needed him.

“For how long,” Jack managed to grunt out, feeling like Ennis was ripping his heart out of his chest again. He didn’t know if he’d be able to stand it a second time. Even though he was pretty sure that no one could die from a broken heart, Jack didn’t really want to test it.

“Long as we can ride it,” Ennis replied, “there ain’t no reins on this one.”

Jack felt a single tear slip down his cheek as he started running his fingers through the tight curls at the side of Ennis’s head. His mind was racing because he knew there was no way that he’d be able to walk away from Ennis’s trailer without the man at his side.

“What if this is somethin’ I can fix though?” Jack said after they sat in silence for a while, Ennis’s heart finally slowing to a slower thumping inside his ribcage under Jack’s hand. Ennis didn’t say anything but grunted to show that he was listening and wanted Jack to continue.

“Come out to Lightnin’ Flats wif’ me,” Jack tried again, “ya’ aint have ta’ stay nowhere near me, could live down in town, but you’d get three meals a day an’ a better job. Can pay ya’ more than the farmin’ minimum here. Nobody’s business but ours.”

“Rodeo…,” Ennis muttered, grabbing onto Jack’s arm with one of his hands.

“This past year...hurt so much I could hardly stand it,” Jack said. He took a couple of seconds to let the sentiment sink in, make sure that Ennis heard every single word he’d just said before he finally added, “I’m fixin’ this Ennis.”


	5. Chapter 5

**July 1964**

Jack looked in his rearview mirror as he signalled off the highway and onto the township road that the Twist Ranch laid on, making sure that Ennis’s black pickup took the right turn behind him. Driving out this way for years, Jack had to make a conscious effort to actually use his signal lights so that the truck following him knew where they were going. Knew to gradually drift off the paved highway and onto the gravel so that their trucks could actually make the corner onto the single-lane road.

At first, he hadn’t much liked the idea of Ennis following in his own vehicle, knowing that the blond man had the tendency to spook at some of the most simple things and could run off or decide to turn around and head back to Riverton. A set of his own wheels made that possible, and Jack feared that if he didn’t keep an eye on him, he’d disappear into thin air. Though, as they got closer and closer to Lightning Flats, the sign for the town finally showing on the highway marker, Jack realized that Ennis wasn’t going to turn around now. That and the last time that they’d stopped for gas and Ennis’s truck had sputtered and made noises that Jack was fairly certain a truck wasn’t supposed to, he wasn’t entirely sure the truck could make it back to Riverton even if he’d wanted to.

After that first night in Riverton together again, Jack had been sure that that morning, when Ennis had left for work, the man was never going to come back. He’d grunted out that he had to go to work but that he’d see Jack that night. It was more than he’d usually given Jack out on Brokeback, and so he’d held onto that for the rest of the day, just puttering around Riverton to kill time, until Ennis drove back into the trailer park.

Entering the trailer with his hat anxiously twisted in his grasp, eyes trained on the floor, Jack waited for Ennis to say what he needed, knowing that it was just better to let him take the reins on this ride.

“I quit,” Ennis had grunted, eyes not looking up from the floor, but moving a little further into the trailer and coming to stand next to where Jack was at the sink.

“You comin’ back with me cowboy?” Jack had asked, trying hard not to get his hopes up, but failing miserably. He wanted Ennis by his side so badly that it hurt and, while it was usually easier to get information out of Ennis by dancing around the topic until they managed to gain an awkward understanding somewhere in the middle, Jack needed to know.

“Didn’t like tha’ boss none anyways,” Ennis had said, by way of cryptic explanation, before adding, “Gotta settle some stuff in town.”

That night, once Ennis got home from closing his banking account, they’d set up a small fire in the ring next to the dirt path to the side of Ennis’s trailer that looked like it’d gotten its fair share of use and passed a flask of whiskey between them. Looking up at the stars, they’d talked and gotten caught up on the year, and, while Jack filled most of the night air with his own voice, he relished in the few sentences that Ennis gave him. For not the first time Jack looked into Ennis’s brown eyes, with the flicker of the fire reflecting in them and knew that whatever they were doing was right. It had to be, because Jack felt whole for the second time in his life, with Ennis at his side.

They’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms on Ennis’s single bed in the trailer and, the next morning, Jack woke to Ennis hauling a couple of empty milk crates in the door. Without saying a damn thing, Ennis had started taking some of his clothes out of the wooden closet at the head of the bed and folding them into one of the crates. With a sleepy smile, Jack understood what that meant. Ennis was moving out and was getting ready to make a life in Lightning Flats.

“Long drive back ta’ the Flats,'' Jack had said, wiping the sleep out of his eyes and scratching at the stubble across his chin and cheeks. If they were planning on heading back to the Flats today, he wanted to shave before his mom smacked him upside the head for forgetting again.

Ennis hadn’t said anything in response, but Jack knew that he had heard him. Placing one of the crates by the door, Ennis grabbed the other one and started opening the other cabinets, looking through his meagre supplies to decide what he wanted to bring with him. There really wasn’t much. Aside from a couple of worn-in shirts, one of which acted as his spare up on Brokeback, and a single plate, mug, and cup, most of what was in Ennis’s trailer looked like it had probably come with the place.

“Gonna have ta’ strip the bed,” Ennis said, motioning towards where Jack was still laying.

“Fine, fine,” Jack said with a laugh, pushing himself up off the bed, going in search of his underwear, jeans, and shirt that had been discarded the night before, loving the feeling of Ennis’s eyes on his behind. The second he turned around, Ennis looked away, but he knew that he’d just given the other man an eye full. When Ennis turned to strip the bed, Jack could see that the back of his neck was flushed red and he loved knowing that he could do that to the other man.

They’d left for the Flats later that morning, Ennis turning in the keys to the trailer at the office and following Jack onto the highway to head north. Every couple of miles for the first part of the drive, Jack found himself compulsively checking his mirror to make sure that Ennis wasn’t going to disappear, but he tried not to worry too much. Wyoming was flat, and so, he figured that if Ennis was to freak out and pull off the highway, he would notice soon enough.

Once they were on the gravel township road though, Jack felt his heart starting to flutter around in his chest. Whistling along with the song that was playing on the radio, Jack drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and checked his rearview mirror again before muttering to himself, “Ennis came home with me.”

Saying it again a little louder, Jack found himself whooping with excitement. Slapping his hand against his steering wheel, he found his stomach doing flip-flops. He knew his mom would love Ennis. In Jack’s opinion, it was pretty hard no to love him, but all he wanted was for the two people in his life who were more important to him than the rest of his world combined to get along. To live a sweet life together, because, as much as it scared him and Ennis both, he knew that it was possible out at the Flats.

The bumping and banging noises his truck made pulled Jack back to reality as he slowed and carefully steered around all the potholes and larger rocks that he knew laid on this stretch of road, remembering all the times he’d driven this exact route before in his life. Coming back from the rodeo he won his belt buckle at, so excited to show his mother, coming back from Brokeback last summer with a hole in his heart, coming back from Signal to learn that his father had passed. But this time felt different and Jack knew exactly why.

Slowing enough to turn onto the mud road that led to the Twist Ranch, Jack saw the ramshackle white-painted house that he’d lived in since he’d been born and wondered what Ennis thought about it. He wanted to fix it up, had wanted to fix it up for a while, but at this point, he was more worried about the ranch paying off all of its debts than anything else. Maybe with Ennis’s help, they could get a herd started and make some serious money.

When he parked his truck next to the one that used to be his father’s and Ennis’s truck turned in beside him, Jack realized very suddenly that everything that he’d wished for the past year had finally come true. Instead of dwelling on it for too much longer, Jack climbed out of his truck to embrace Ennis, because he knew that the blond man was torturing himself with a constant barrage of fears and “what-if questions.”

Pulling open the driver's side door to Ennis’s truck, parked but not turned off, Jack twisted the keys out of the ignition and wrapped the blond into his arms, whispering, “it’s alright,” over and over again until his white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel loosened and he was able to coax Ennis to his feet.

“C’mon, my ma’ ‘ll wanna meet ya’,” Jack said, leading the way towards the backdoor of the house. He knew Ennis was following by the shuffle of worn boots on gravel, but he didn’t dare turn around because seeing Ennis’s tortured look was no good right now. All he’d want to do was to chase it off his face with a flurry of kisses and, with his mother at an unknown location on the ranch currently, he didn’t want her to see that.

Pushing open the backdoor, Jack could immediately smell roast and buns in the oven, along with an underlying odour of bleach. His mother must have done some cleaning while he was gone, Jack figured, knowing how much he tended to complain about the horrible smell of bleach.

“Ma’?” Jack called into the house, “I’m home!”

“Jus’ in the cellar Jackie,” his mother’s voice called back from the open hatch he could now see under the stairs.

Closing the door behind them, Jack watched as Ennis nervously stood just behind Jack’s left shoulder, as if he could hide. Turning to look behind him, Jack saw that Ennis was abusing the fabric of his hat and so he took it from his hands and hung it on the hook. Eerily, his father’s hat still hung where it had on the day he’d passed and Jack placed his and Ennis’s hats on the hooks the farthest away. It seemed wrong, in a way, to even be placing their hats on the hooks next to his father’s, after everything he’d ever said to Jack. Even though the man was dead, Jack still wanted to shelter Ennis from his father’s wrath. He’d had enough wrath of his own to deal with, he didn’t need this too.

“Jackie?” his mother said, causing Jack to whirl around to face her, stepping a healthy step away from Ennis, tucking his hands into his pockets and looking her in the eye.

She had dust caked across the front of her apron and dress, his mother’s greying hair was flying loose from where it had probably been piled into a bun on the top of her head in the morning. Wiping her hands on the apron, though, Jack wasn’t sure how much it’d actually accomplished, she looked between the two of them and he felt his heart leap into his throat.

“Ma’!” Jack exclaimed, rushing forwards to give his mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek like he did every time he came home, whether it was from school as a kid or from Brokeback, too heartbroken to muster any excitement.

Pulling away, he motioned to Ennis who’s cheeks had paled yet another shade and was looking down at his beaten-up boots, “Ma’, this is Ennis Del Mar. Met ‘im up on Brokeback.”

“Nice ta’ meet you,” she said, “Jack talked ‘bout you. Said you were mighty fine with them animals?”

“Yes ma’am,” Ennis barely whispered. Had Jack not known to listen for Ennis’s near-silent reply, he wouldn’t have caught it.

“Aint much budget for a herd this year, ‘am afraid,” she said, stepping between the two of them and heading into the kitchen.

Jack followed, hoping Ennis took the hint that the conversation was moving, literally and figuratively.

“Your daddy was gonna sell the western pastures ta’ pay for a younger bull,” his mother continued, filling up a pot with some water and putting it on the stove. Turning around to face them again, Jack felt his cheeks tugging a little. He hadn’t smiled this hard in years.

“You aint gonna get a good wage ‘ere with us Ennis,” his mother said, “food, board, maybe a little extra after that. Least, won’t get much better till next summer.”

“Tha’s okay ma’am,” Ennis replied, “‘ll be better than Riverton.”

“Jackie, I found tha’ old bedroll in the basement,” his mother said, turning her back on them to rummage through one of the cupboards, “Ennis can sleep upstairs with you.”

“Ma’?” Jack started, thrown off by her statement and his promise to Ennis that he didn’t have to stay on the ranch with them if he didn’t want to. She didn’t know, but he still feared Ennis would go running out that backdoor at his mother’s statement.

“Only makes sense Jackie. Aint got nowhere else for ‘im ta’ bunk, and your daddy never liked when people slept in the barn. Scared the horses something fierce,” she explained, turning back towards them, a couple of teacups in hand.

“Tha’ makes sense,” Jack agreed.

“Only right. ‘Sides, it's too cold ta’ sleep down here on the floor,” she said, nodding her head like the good lord had given her a command and that was simply how things were going to be.

“Sound good cowboy?” Jack asked, turning to Ennis, who, in turn, just shrugged. He didn’t look too green, and so, Jack figured that that was the best answer that he was going to get from him.

“We’ll get this place in shape ma’, promise,” Jack said with a smile, and when she embraced the both of them in her arms, pulling the two boys who were just barely older than teenagers into her chest lovingly, he knew that he’d done something right for the first time in his life. There were no doubts at all anymore. This was exactly where he wanted to be.

“I don’t doubt it Jackie,” she said before adding in a whisper, “I missed seeing your smile.


End file.
